Belonging: In the End...

(Please read Belonging and Belonging T(w)o in order first)

There are a dozen different analogies that come to mind when I dwell on the topic of belonging: E.T. wanting to go home, ship afloat with no place to anchor, butterfly flitting between flowers etc. The gist of it is, I'm lonely and I want to go "home".

Ironically, I am living with my family and have been besieged by familial duties these few months. Recently I have been busying myself re: new family house. I am in full charge of all the financial/legal/administrative aspects. But far from feelings of belonging, I am increasingly stressed and disgruntled with the responsibilities for a dwelling which I feel/know I won't likely live in for more than a year.

Ungrateful? Ironic? New family home, but still not happy! Bad Janet!

What's more ironic is just a few posts down I was trying to describe the panic that enveloped me when I realised next year I might be miles away in law school, with no family obligations.

What do you make of it? Am I confused? Scared? Lost? Spoiled? This I know for sure though, I've taken minutes away from your life by these 3 long posts. Minutes you won't get back!

Writing stupid stuff helps with my law school essays :)